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Tag Archives: teen
Exposition at the Hideout
Phew. Ok, looks like we’re going to get away with this, guys. We just need to keep our stories straight. Here’s the official story the press is going with: Church fakes teens’ kidnapping using real gun A southeasternPennsylvania church subjected members of a youth group to a mock kidnapping and interrogations without telling them it was staged,[in order to prepare them for future missionary work abroad]. (MSNBC) Exactly. A “mock” kidnapping. It was “staged.” “Fake.” As long as the national media says it wasn’t real, even though we were using a real gun, and even though neither parents nor children were informed of it beforehand, everyone will just go with it. Who came up with that idea about “liberal media?” That was genius. Even MSNBC won’t publicly recognize a spade for a spade. Look, we’ve done this twice before, and had no problem. The only reason anyone even knows that an off duty cop and a retired Army captain kidnapped a bunch of pre-teens is because that one stupid bitch is pissed we held her little girl at real gunpoint with a bag over her head. What is the power of one indignant twat against Jesus in this country? No sweat, give it a week, and this issue will be goner than a barren woman’s husband. “They pulled my chair out from underneath me, and then they told me to get on the ground,” she told the station. “I had my hands behind my back. They said, ‘Just do as I say, and you won’t be hurt… They heard me crying,” the girl said. “Why not right then and there tell us it was a joke, when you see me crying?” That… might be damaging. We should have cut her tongue out when she started crying. Ah, but then we’d … Finish reading this sumbitch!
Marvelous Culture
By Sean ¨More Superhuman Than Human¨ Torrie I can barely stand Spider-Man. -Just-Barely-. When the original comic came about it was perfect. In some regard it still is. Spider-man, the way I see it, is the reason comics in this era exist the way that they do. Stan Lee created a hero that was human; he wasn’t normal human, he had powers nothing in this world should actually have, but he had human problems – and he wasn’t a grownup saving the world, he was a little boy. Screw Bucky Barnes and what ever angst his character developed in the post-Winter-Soldier era. Spider-man had no one to protect him. No super soldier, no Atlantean King, he had is dead parents and uncle to support him. He also had an aging aunt, but she was no more than a home and a grandmother figure to promote his guilt. His guilt about absolutely everything that he couldn’t prevent – because as human as he was: he wasn’t. The kind of quality that only -ONLY- a New York Jew could create. I say that, knowing I have more close Jewish friends than anyone in their right mind should (I have been a best man/groomsman at 2 Jewish weddings and I adore those families ruthlessly). Spider-man has the perfect qualities of someone who, in real life, found himself with entirely too much responsibility. As the infamous, almost righteous, quote is said: “With great power comes great responsibility.” That’s Spider-Man, and Stan Lee. If anyone tells you otherwise then send them to me. He is the brilliant person who was alive in the 60′s (1962 to be precise). There’s a reason THE RAMONES’ cover of his cartoon theme song is still one of their best known tracks: the punks-of-origin were the nerds who needed Spidey … Finish reading this sumbitch!
Puddin´ Parenting
By Sean ”The Younger, The Better” Torrie Oh Bill Cosby. You have made a whole new type of child abuse possible. Thank you for that. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but I don’t think Enrico Fermi had a cold war in mind when he built that nuclear reactor. Now, I’ll be the first guy to say that I’m not a fan of Michelle Bachmann… No. No, that’s a lie. I’ll be one of many to say it. I’ll also say I think she might be crazy. Not fun-crazy either: “Did you invite her?” “No of course I didn´t, but she found out about the party so I had to say she could come.” crazy. So when I saw this video, in which a representative of the local Gay/Straight alliance gave Bachmann some hell, I said “Hell yea LGBT girls with silly dress code!” In two minutes they present a really solid problem with Bachmann’s philosophy, one that I hadn’t come up with myself. And I’m brilliant. It’s just straight up impressive seeing them get up the balls (take that how ever you want, just don’t get all emo on me) to put that woman on the spot in the middle of people clearly into what she’s got to say. So when I hear there’s a video of an even younger kid putting her in her place I say to myself, “There’s no way this is going to make me think poorly of the opposite opinion.” First: it took me like 10 viewings to get the volume up to a level I could both hear and wasn’t at risk of blowing my speakers. Second: that little boy is so damned uncomfortable saying what he’s been told to say that it took me 10 viewings to get the volume … Finish reading this sumbitch!