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Tag Archives: suicide
Afternoon Quickies: You Got Yer Jesus In My Peanut Butter Edition
… peanut butter meaning, of course, politics, football, and bananas. This here´s the Jesus Toaster, which we think is… just great. For the pittance of 35 smackers, you too can experience the miracle of His Divine Presence in foodstuffs normally reserved for the unwashed ignorants of Central and South America´s poorer countries. Every morning! Because in no way does the ability to recreate, at will, what used to be priceless manifestations of God´s love cheapen the experience. For you bulemics, the Tim Tebow version is set to be released soon, so you won´t even have to shove a finger down your throat to stay thin and toothless all year ´round. (Christian Post) Tenesseehas responded to teen bullying suicides by introducing a bill that would make it alright for school children to harass homosexuals, as long as they do it for Jesus. Kind of like a birthday present for the guy who literally has everything. The idea is that not being able to call a homosexual peer a faggot in school, or tell him he´s going to hell, is an infringement on the Christian student´s first amendment rights. This is another thing Scumbag Style can throw our whole weights behind. Cast those first stones, friends, because, on religious grounds, I think you´re a hopeless pile of elephant dooks whose ignorance is poisoning the very gene pool we all have to swim in, and if you were forcefully sterilized, the Earth itself would benefit, not to mention my invisible best friend who hates you inherently. Also, you have cooties. And I will say this in front of everyone you have to spend 12 miserable years of your life with. Then we´ll see who´s shooting up with his mom´s Windex and writing a wimpy tear-stained letter. (SMV Nashville) After last night´s frankly stunning … Finish reading this sumbitch!
Marvelous Culture
By Sean ¨More Superhuman Than Human¨ Torrie I can barely stand Spider-Man. -Just-Barely-. When the original comic came about it was perfect. In some regard it still is. Spider-man, the way I see it, is the reason comics in this era exist the way that they do. Stan Lee created a hero that was human; he wasn’t normal human, he had powers nothing in this world should actually have, but he had human problems – and he wasn’t a grownup saving the world, he was a little boy. Screw Bucky Barnes and what ever angst his character developed in the post-Winter-Soldier era. Spider-man had no one to protect him. No super soldier, no Atlantean King, he had is dead parents and uncle to support him. He also had an aging aunt, but she was no more than a home and a grandmother figure to promote his guilt. His guilt about absolutely everything that he couldn’t prevent – because as human as he was: he wasn’t. The kind of quality that only -ONLY- a New York Jew could create. I say that, knowing I have more close Jewish friends than anyone in their right mind should (I have been a best man/groomsman at 2 Jewish weddings and I adore those families ruthlessly). Spider-man has the perfect qualities of someone who, in real life, found himself with entirely too much responsibility. As the infamous, almost righteous, quote is said: “With great power comes great responsibility.” That’s Spider-Man, and Stan Lee. If anyone tells you otherwise then send them to me. He is the brilliant person who was alive in the 60′s (1962 to be precise). There’s a reason THE RAMONES’ cover of his cartoon theme song is still one of their best known tracks: the punks-of-origin were the nerds who needed Spidey … Finish reading this sumbitch!