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Tag Archives: spider-man
Marvelous Culture
By Sean ¨More Superhuman Than Human¨ Torrie I can barely stand Spider-Man. -Just-Barely-. When the original comic came about it was perfect. In some regard it still is. Spider-man, the way I see it, is the reason comics in this era exist the way that they do. Stan Lee created a hero that was human; he wasn’t normal human, he had powers nothing in this world should actually have, but he had human problems – and he wasn’t a grownup saving the world, he was a little boy. Screw Bucky Barnes and what ever angst his character developed in the post-Winter-Soldier era. Spider-man had no one to protect him. No super soldier, no Atlantean King, he had is dead parents and uncle to support him. He also had an aging aunt, but she was no more than a home and a grandmother figure to promote his guilt. His guilt about absolutely everything that he couldn’t prevent – because as human as he was: he wasn’t. The kind of quality that only -ONLY- a New York Jew could create. I say that, knowing I have more close Jewish friends than anyone in their right mind should (I have been a best man/groomsman at 2 Jewish weddings and I adore those families ruthlessly). Spider-man has the perfect qualities of someone who, in real life, found himself with entirely too much responsibility. As the infamous, almost righteous, quote is said: “With great power comes great responsibility.” That’s Spider-Man, and Stan Lee. If anyone tells you otherwise then send them to me. He is the brilliant person who was alive in the 60′s (1962 to be precise). There’s a reason THE RAMONES’ cover of his cartoon theme song is still one of their best known tracks: the punks-of-origin were the nerds who needed Spidey … Finish reading this sumbitch!
Don’t Get Surgery, Get An Agent
A few months back, Scumbag Style brought to your attention a serious parenting fail involving an Indian family and their miracle spider child that could have grown up to be New Delhi’s most badass masked avenger. Barring that, she could have remained the living Hindu godthe ignorant rurals had already made her, collecting riches and fame and endless cunnilingus from her personal harem. But no! They had to go and “fix” her, further homogenizing Eurasia into the blandest place that smells like shit on Earth, and not the comic book mecca of justice and cleavage it might have been, replete with onomatopoeic violence bubbles and grappling hooks. That was all not to mention the schooling she could potentially have given those Bollywood hussies, all tryin’ to use their inhuman sexiness to distract us from the fact their evolutionarily inferior number of extremities. But the surgery was a “success,” and now other parents are feeling empowered to deprive their children of their most basic and innocent dreams. Like this mutant turtle kid in China: Dad Maimaiti Musai said: “We were told surgery wasn’t possible when he was very young so we waited. But the growth got bigger and harder and became like a turtle shell. (der SUN) You cured your son of being a Ninja fucking Turtle? Can your deranged – – nay, diseased mind possibly comprehend the implications arising from the damage you have done? I – – I… fffffuuuuh… hold on. Despite my clenched, grinding teeth of incredulous rage, I have forced myself to count to ten, and rub one out* for good, calm measure. I want to make myself perfectly clear, so there is no chance of misunderstanding. I was born in 1984. Between the ages of three and eleven or so, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were … Finish reading this sumbitch!