(That’s Swamp THANG to you.)

By all accounts, this Dr. Martin Luther King guy was a civil rights martyr of incredible proportions, a pivotal figure in creating the racial harmony utopia we surely enjoy today. I don’t know, because I can’t really read, but my token black friend told me, and he turned me on to Nas back in the day, so I know I can trust him. Given that, it makes sense that King’s remaining family should continue his legacy, enlightening us from the perspective that only someone who lived amongst the black Jesus and his disciples could offer.

Allowing gay couples to marry amounts to “genocide” and will lead to the “extinction” of the human race, said the niece of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. at a National Organization for Marriage [NOM] rally in Atlanta on Saturday. [lgbtqnation]

Way to earn that drinking fountain, Alveda. Looks like you’ve been NOMming plenty since your dad and uncle got capped by their west side rivals, or whatever it is that happened to them. I mean you’re fat and useless, and before you throw around words like ‘extinction,’ you should consider that the local grammar schools are probably experiencing a drought of brown-bag Little Debbies because of you. I know your brain doesn’t process words with more syllables than buzz words like ‘genocide,’ but did you ever hear your uncle mention the word miscegenation? It lasted for a good three centuries in this country, and it means your kind can’t be muddying up our gene pool by marrying white folk. The rescinding of those laws paved the way for my Ipod’s meticulously collected “white sluts pounded by at least three black horse cocks at a time” videos. But you’re probably all about miscegenation, because if black dudes can marry white chicks, you’re pretty much relegated to a life of multiple cats that will feast for years on dark meat before anybody even notices you’re dead.

King, daughter of the late slain civil rights activist Rev. A. D. King, also spoke of her family’s commitment to strong marriages, including her uncle and “his lovely wife.”

I’m sure MLK is super proud of you. He needs you dropping his name like he needs a hole in the head. We won’t even mention that Coretta Scott publicly voiced her opinion that gay rights was an obvious extension of her late husband’s work, or that their ‘strong marriage’ involved regular beatings to keep wifey in line. I guess we just did, but we’re pretty drunk. I get it, you got your boy in the White House and its time to start doing some oppressing of your own. But you’re tying your one mule to the wrong cart so long as Italians exist. Don’t worry, bitch, so long as drunken hate fucking and religious breeding competitions exist, married couples will continue to bring unwanted spawn into the world like they always have, no matter whether Adam can visit Steve in the emergency room. In the meantime, we have a seat at the back of the bus to plantation town for you. Your three-fifths ass will now be picking all the country’s cotton until you evaporate with your flop-sweat.

By contributor Professor Sean Torrie

(To be perfectly fair, Mr. Thomasson was trying to hire a cook.)

I got an email from a friend of mine a few days ago. He’s a funny guy, it’s always either extremely patriotic “pray for our troops” stuff, or naked women. I prefer the naked women; one would never have guessed that about me from the 2 terabyte hard drives I have filled with such imagery, but it’s a surprising truth.

In this case, the email I received was about the 2010 census and was inspired by this article here: Sending A Message With The Census from The National Review.

The interesting part to this is that it goes directly against a very personal opinion of mine. The article in point states that, instead of filling in your specific ethnicity, you write in “American” for your denomination. For me, this has always been an issue. Using as an example the fact that certain groups get extra points on their SATs just for spelling their name right, or that anyone who is 1/64th Native Indian (one of the newer PC terms for the people who were handed small-pox-blankets and instructed to take a nap) will be given a free college education on behalf of the US government, and for that matter only specific people can say specific words on television, I’ve always been annoyed that, being Irish, I never got any bonus points from society.

You may not be aware of this, because world history turns a blind eye to bullshit of this variety, but the Irish are a remarkably oppressed people. The first example I can think of is when the Romans chased the Gauls out of the very region named after them, and up to the British Isles.

Years later, Emperor Hadrian would be credited with building a wall all across the northern portion of the primary island to keep the Gauls (the name slowly mutated to Gaelic) in the colder region and away from their civilized territory. That same wall is, to this day, still considered the border between England and Scotland. If that’s not segregation on an almost eugenicist level, I don’t know what the fuck is.

Oh wait! Yes I do!

After the fall of the Roman empire, when the English decided that whole global domination thing sounded like a lot of fun, and they should take after their forefathers, they started nice and early on with shipping northerners, such as the Scottish, that while unkempt and savage, were considered more civilized than the Irish, over to Ireland so that they could breed them into civility. While I can admit, most of my relatives aren’t exactly the most balanced people in the world, I’d like to think that no one is trying to breed them into something more palatable, like so much Labradoodle.

(After the jump, so much more Mick you’ll start pissing Guiness and liking cabbage. Do it!)

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