Tag Archives: lobster

  The unfortunate result of the gay marriage vote in Maine yesterday lends itself less to disheartened outcries than it does to several unanswered questions. In my long experience vacationing in Maine (no shit) I have discovered several spectacular havens for homosexuals. Everything seemed to be going so well, in fact, that this vote was actually to repeal the law that already existed allowing the LGBT community unfettered access to marriage lisences. Take Ogunquit for example, where gays and old folks live in such tranquil harmony, antiquing their asses off together that families like my own never had issue with bringing their children there. As far as I’m concerned, we should turn the whole vacation town into the quaintest medieval style battle keep of all time, and hunker down for a long winter of defending equal freedoms and checking out all the tasteful Christmas light displays. Line the Marginal Way with land-to-sea ballista! Turn the wine tasteries into drinking halls for the soldiers! Mount some guns on the trolleys and they’re not so much unlike tanks. I, for one, volunteer to man the turrets and manage the bitchin’ Perkins Cove candy store on my free time. LOBSTERS!