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Tag Archives: hitler
Sexy Ed
By Ms Lori Hey there. My name is Lori, and I am here to take you to school. Yes, darling, I know you don’t want to go to school. There is just such a glut of elitist intellectual smarty-pants propaganda floating around this country, that we could all use a little less school and a little more common Bible sense. And not only that, book-learnin’ is so hard. So I thought that, as your teacher, maybe I could pop a few blouse buttons, put my finger in my mouth, and make you hard for education. Recent History 101 (If you know the story, you may skip this section, but I will be talking about my vagina, and it will be on the test. My vag, I mean. I dip it in red ink and leave a nice little lip hug for all my A students.)* I’d like to introduce you to Jessica Ahlquist. A lot of you may know her from the death threats you sent her and her family. Some of you may even remember promising to rape her, mostly from the safe, cowardly anonymity of the internet. Some of you have done it in person, in public, and for that I applaud you. For those of you who don’t know Jessica, she is female, like I totally am, and she is a sixteen year old high school student from Rhode Island. And she is an atheist, so her opinion doesn’t count. Still, Jessica is the newest champion of constitutional civil rights in the US, and many regard her as a hero. Just the excitement of her young age and her superior reasoning skills make my nips all hard. Go ahead, feel your screen. Can you feel that? I’m working on two semi-symmetrical avocado pits here. Nine months ago: … Finish reading this sumbitch!
This Man Is A Teacher
My dearest Tom Hoopes: I first encountered your work when a Catholic friend of mine pointed me toward an article in which you speak briefly about Christopher Hitchens, a great hero of mine who recently passed away. It was condescending as all get out, but it was chock full of underhanded compliments, and seemed to be relatively thoughtful. It is, of course, gratifying to see a great American champion of humanist ideals remembered fondly by members of the non-secular class, so I decided I might read some more of your work. The first article I read was entitled “Six Myths About Atheism,” and I have to say, the title excited me, because I assumed you were a man of thought, and perhaps you’d be spending your time dispelling some of the myths that are propagated amongst the religious about non-believers. The article turned out to be the epitome of those very lies: a carelessly thought out bigoted bit of blatant propaganda, a brainwashing tool to keep the hate for atheists alive among the religious. My first thought was of completely ignoring it. After all, ignorance abounds in your community, trying to change one mind in the sea of under-used brains you call a church leaves one feeling impotent and frustrated. As my beautiful wife put it, quoting someone else: “Never argue with an idiot. They´ll drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience.” On the other hand, several of my friends and readers across Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, etc. expressed concern that I said that all of your points were entirely wrong, your research was ass-on-fire, and your intentions were entirely malicious, so I decided that I might address your points and show you why you’re an untalented, proselytizing asshole. After all, even you said in your article … Finish reading this sumbitch!
… If You Want It
War is over, bitches! Happy Xmas! Seriously, World War II ended not 48 hours ago, and it all happened in my humble adoptive country, three blocks from where I live, in Costa Rica. Very exciting times down here, filled with diplomats, and The story seems to be that, during WWII, just like the rest of the allies, Costa Rica was all, ¨Yeah! Fuck those guys,¨and Hitler was like, ¨Blow those bitches up,¨like he did from time to time. And history might have been less kind to the tiny state had Hitler been able to actually find Costa Rica on a map before his notoriously short attention span made him say ¨screw it¨and the tiny Central American country was spared. Good thing too. I don´t know how much history you read, but the disposition of almost all of the other countries south of Mexico at the time was decidedly rape-and-pillage-y. And so, CR was able to live up to May 2011, happy in its relative obscurity and apparent invisibility powers until they elected a woman president and she ruined everything with her bleeding everywhere and her two hour hair and makeup routines. Costa Rica greeted Christian Wulff, the president of Germany, to a display of the best of San José’s cultural offerings Tuesday night. After a brief meeting between Wulff and Costa Rica President Laura Chinchilla in the early evening, the Cultural Ministry lit up the downtown National Theater with an impressive light and firework show, which was set to the backdrop of music provided by the National Symphony and several dance and song performances. (Tico Times) No! Chinchilla! Bad looks, babe. Seriously, the only thing that got CR through its shit talking in the 1940s, without being shoved wholecloth into a Vermont sized oven was the fact that Germans have no … Finish reading this sumbitch!