(Out of work and with no discernable prospects after his shaming, Professor Nutt wonders what he will do with all these free drugs he has lying around…)

Anglican Mainstream reports today that the British Government has “sacked” one of its drug advisors, one Professor Nutt. Do you guys even need me for this one? “Prime Minister Gordon Brown said Professor Nutt’s views sent out mixed messages about the drug’s harm.” Seems like they got exactly what they were buying when they hired a guy that should share a name with a breakfast cereal or a colleague of Bunsen Honeydew. What did you think you were getting when you put Professor Nutt on the payroll? You’re lucky he didn’t plaster the walls with marmalade and do experiments involving LSD and jungle cats.

According to the article, Professor Nutt shares the anti-legalization feelings of concerned parents, one of whom claims,  “In 2006 my daughter was brutally murdered by a paranoid schizophrenic with a cannabis habit stretching back a decade to his early teens.” It was definitely the weed that drove this man to murder, and not that first part… about the paranoid schizophrenia. Maybe what drove him over the edge was people like you trying to take away the one thing that made him want to sit on his couch eating Doritos and watcing Futurama, and not go on a county wide killing spree. The Brits are crazy, and I can say that because they’re all the way over there and what are they going to do about it?

I’ll take that check now, General Mills. Don’t worry about the associations. If people think your cereal is like drugs, the marketing basically writes itself.