China Daily reported today that Lindsay Lohan was threatened with a gun while she was on a “break” this weekend, and I am grinning ear to ear that WWTDD.com is having loading trouble today. Not that I don’t love that site, it’s just that I guarantee he would have beaten me to this.

According to the site, Lindsay said to whomever she thought was listening, ”Umm-OMFG! I was walking ahead with the security guard and some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car and pointed a GUN at me! I was on the phone w/my mum and i screamed and ducked and the guy started laughing and pushed the trigger and it was a fake gun..I was crying..he scared me. (sic)”

She went on to say that what really scared her was the orange tip, which she could have sworn was a tube of anti-aging lotion, a week of work, and a Friday night in which she didn’t act like a drunken whore. Seriously, what is Linds taking a break from? Slowly dismantling her Dorian Grey painting? Not creating a quality piece of art since Mean Girls? Proving to Sam she’s over her by banging some random dude nobody’s heard of at a hotel and making sure people in frggin’ India are aware, just to cover her bases?

The only thing that would be scarier is if a flag popped out of the barrel that said “nobody gives a shit anymore” when her assailant pulled the trigger. Seriously guys, Halloween is the worst time to be pulling harmless pranks. Think of the skanks. I’m more right when I rhyme.

(Seriously, What Would Tyler Durden Do? is probably the best blog on the net (other than this one of course). Get there soon! wwtdd.com)